I am silent most days. My husband leaves for work before I awake. My friends work outside of their homes. I spend most of the daylight hours outside. Sometimes I will say, "Hello", to a bird or a bug or when a plant brushes my arm. Sometimes a neighbor will call out or wave.
Most days I am silent.
When I venture into the market place I am polite. I say, "Thank you", but normally I keep to myself as I choose my produce and my shoes. I used to be very sociable. I would chat with other shoppers but lately I have been keeping my own council.
Friday, when I went Thrift Store shopping, ladies would stop and look at the items in my cart. They made different comments and I just nodded. I did not have the desire for idle conversation.
While I was putting a pair of brass peacocks onto the checkout counter, a lady in line behind me asked, "What will you do with those?" I told about a small garden near my front porch where these would go. They would be taking the place of some plants that died. I told how I was decorating my gardens with Thrift Store finds. The cashier said, "I wish I could decorate my gardens. I cannot even look at them."
"Oh, did you lose plants in the April's freeze?" I asked.
She had. She began naming all the different plants that died. She began to cry.
I told her I understood. I told her about the Roll Call Memorial Service I was having. I told her I would include her plants. I told how my Rosemary had died.
The line behind me was growing longer. She glanced at the line. I heard murmurings.
I raised my voice a wee bit. I began talking about honoring the plants. I talked about how much joy they had given us and how it is important to grieve for them. I talked about the value of the flora. I talked about the silence of the frost. She cried as I honored her feelings.
This took maybe three minutes. We finished our transaction and she thanked me.
The ladies in line thanked me too. She said she would find a sweet item for her gardens.
On to Costco! I needed people food and bird seed. There I saw a lady I knew from the days my children were in grade school. She was doing a demo for Dove Miniature ice cream bars. I enjoy one every afternoon. She asked me how I was. I told her I was better. She asked me if I had been depressed. "Yes!" I said. " I have been somewhat despondent over the lost plants from the April freeze." "Me too!" she says and started to cry. We walked over to the freezer case where the Dove Miniatures were kept and she told the names of her trees and bushes and plants that did not survive. She wept. We hugged and I told of the Roll Call. I told her I would include her plants in my memorial service. We talked about our love of the plants. She told me she had no one to share her grief with. I understood.
Some are plant people.
I no longer will apologize for loving the flora.
I will not abandon myself.
I am a plant person.
I speak it.