Tuesday, June 26, 2007


For a few months now,
I don't remember when it started,
April maybe March,
I have not been able to sleep all night.
I have tried herbal remedies, lavender and chamomile teas and blooms.
Still I wake up.
We turned the mattress and bought new sheets.
I lowered the thermostat. Sometimes I woke sweaty.
I do not like to be sweaty.
My husband thinks it is cold in our house.
I fall asleep just fine.
I think of butterflies and dream of beautiful gardens.
After a couple of hours I am awake.
I stay in bed, with my eyes closed.
I try to go back to sleep. It takes an hour or longer before I am drifting again.
Some nights I get back asleep; some I do not.
I figured it was because I was upset over the lost Spring.
My fatigue during the day I thought was from the upsets.
I was resting at night; just not sleeping.
My lack of enthusiasm for gardening I thought was because of all the plants that died.
I would engage a wee bit but I could not sustain the energy.
I was tired.
I was and am always tired.

My friend called last week. She has known me since kindergarten.
She asked me how I was doing.
I told her how I was not so despondent but still seemed to be so very tired.
I told her about mulching and seeds and how I was once again trying to find the connection to my plants.
I told her how I was not sleeping very well.

She said, "Oh yes, the change."
I thought she meant the change in the energies of planet Earth.
The climate change, the way the energies of the third dimension were giving way to the fourth. I went on and on about the density of the third dimension.
She is kind. She listened.
She responded, "Hormones."

I have read "Our Bodies Ourselves" first and second editions. I have looked at my "Wall Chart" of the human body. I have read "Gray's Anatomy". It is rather tedious.
Never did I read that when your hormones change, menopause, one quits sleeping.
In Webster's I read, "hormone--- a substance formed in some organ of the body and carried to another part, where it takes effect."
Oh, that explains it!
All this time I thought it had to do with having babies. I have done that and am happy I did. Also I am happy I am not having babies now. I am too tired to have babies.

My friend told me the body takes awhile to adjust. She assured me I would sleep again.
All this time I thought my sleeplessness was from an emotional disorder or a spiritual, dark night of the soul. Here it was, the body. The last place I would look.
I guess the sleep hormone is changing.


Anonymous said...

Hi Sherry -
I think there are lots of good things to learn in the night during the change. You're in a good place.
Love, Sandi

Q said...

Dear Sandi,
I agree! I have done lots of thinking in the middle of the night!
I find I am very tired during the day!
Hopefully this will pass and I will be back on my sleep schedule soon. I am letting myself nap when necessary. I also am not pushing during the day too much.
It is interesting to me that I did not know sleeplessness was part of menopause.
I also thought all of the "hot" was from being outside. I thought I had absorbed the day's heat. I never have a hot flash, I just am very warm!
Being in the body is a learning thing for me.
I am very good on drinking water!
I like having my water near me at all times.
With good friends like you I will learn about the body and will walk gracefully into my older years, my Grandmother times.
Thank you for your support.

Mary said...

Sherry, this is the first time I visited Walking in Beauty. I have already had sleeplessness. For a few years, I would wake at 2 or 3 am and stay awake. Flashes of heat drenched me in sweat, so much that I would stand outside in the middle of winter wearing only a flimsy nightgown. Ooooo, it felt so good. It caused me to be very tired during the day. I still enjoy feeling the cold ceramic floor under my bare feet in the middle of the night.

I don't menstruate anymore, I stopped three years ago. But I still get hot at night. I sleep well, though :o)

You will be OK. Take a nap during the day if you can.

Q said...

Dear Mary,
Walking in Beauty is all about aging gracefully! Maybe you can share some of your ways? I know I need to develope some good tricks!
I do a "put the legs up" whenever I sit down. My legs grow tired.
Years ago I was a two o'clock rest period person. I laid down! It was nap time. I did sleep too. I stopped when the camera came into my life and I was always taking pics! Now I know I can get a couple of hundred photos in about 15 minutes!
I guess the hormones do a lot of regulating. I am still very warm most of the time. The heat bothers me more then ever before. I love the feel of the ac blowing on my legs and the cool of the floors too. I will stand on the tile in the bathroom just for refreshment.
I am very unhappy about the weight gain. I eat so little!
Will have to work on this.