Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Acting as if

I am still working out in the flower beds.
I keep trying to get the excitement of gardening back.
It is as if a veil is between me and the plants.
I am making the movements, I just do not feel connected.
I bought 108 dwarf snapdragons today.
I thought if I had lots to plant I would be excited.
I also brought home a Mandevilla vine for the front bed.
It will bloom soon.
I hope the Hummingbirds like it.

The Cardinals were singing while I worked today.
Tufted Titmouse came to the feeder in the bed I was working in.
I did not rush for the camera.
I sat and watched and continued my weeding and mulching.

Perhaps I am protecting myself from disappointment.
My tiny, tiny Fairy Garden did not survive April's freeze.
Even the Edelweiss died.
I cleaned out all the dead little plants.

I shall reorder the tiny plants and try again.
I do not want to give up.
I really want to reconnect with the plants.

Maybe if I "act as if" my connect will happen.

12 comments:

Chris said...

Oh Sherry, perhaps you have Corner Withdrawal Symptons :-) You will find your zest for your garden again, may be you are just tired and need to sit back for an hour and watch. You have achieved a full blog!! how many of us can say that :-) Very soon something will happen unexpectedly and you will know you are back :-) Mother Nature will send you a message and you will reach for your camera. Until then all your friends are with you, look at the moon and know we are all here.

Q said...

Dear chris,
Thank you so very much!
Your compassion means the wotld to me!
Corner Withdrawl Symptons!!LOL!
I did get a new to me glider chair and a new cushion so I can sit on the deck and "rock" sort of!
I did not get all the plants in the ground today. Maybe tomorrow I will be motivated.
I have lots of garden beds and I am trying to get them ready for summer growing. So far only 15 are seeded and mulched I have another 18 to do. My enthusiasm is so low.
Mother Nature tries... she sends all sorts of beautiful butterflies and birds, lovely clouds ans shadows. I get excited but I cannot maintain my "WOW!" I like to fall in love every day and have the wonderment. Maybe after I pull out the rest of the dead plants and replace I will be excited again. I have been putting off even looking at the Heathers.
Thank dear friend.
Knowing you are listening makes a big difference.
I shall Moon gaze.
I always feel better after a Moon bath.
Thanks again for understanding.
Sherry

smilnsigh said...

Maybe.... maybe... You are pushing too hard...

Maybe... It is not a bad thing, that you feel a lull.

Maybe... If you let the excitement and desire build, by itself... It might just be better...

But I know... The growing season is finite and... It's hard to wait.

A tiny slice of life itself, maybe?

It is so hard for us to wait, for many things... For them to develop, at their own pace.

When is it best to push?

When is it best to just relax and be calm, and wait?

When, indeed... :-)

Mari-Nanci

Dorothy said...

Dear Q..

I'm here from Mary's View and thought I'd pop in and say 'hi'.
I too am experiencing garden burn-out. But then I remember the cold dreary days of winter and somehow I get my inspiration back. That and a tall glass of iced tea seems to help. I love your blog, and I'll surely be back.

Ziggywigs said...

Wow that Kaleidoscope brings back memories.

To experience joy we need to understand sadness so it's ok to feel as you do. Look back at photographs to remind you of what you have achieved so far and then give yourself a big pat on the back. When i need inspiration i always visit some stately gardens and usually come away buzzing.

Q said...

Dear Mari-Nanci,
I so understand what you are saying. When to wait and when to move forward is a hard one. I waited all of May to see what would rebound. Now I am in June and I need to "do" something. The bindweed has almost taken over the front cedar spreaders! What will the Waxwings eat come late winter?
When I started this growing season I thought I would add a few flowering vines and some more herbs to the flower beds. I had plans to enlarge a few spots too.
I went into such a slump after April's freeze. I would walk about the yard and look to see if a "dead" plant showed any signs of life.
I have sowed lots of seeds and I will wait on them to sprout and bloom.
Part of gardening is the wait.
Part is the do.
I need to do!
Sherry

Q said...

Hi Dorothy,
I have been gardening for 35 years and never have I gone through a spring like this one!
It just about "killed" me!
I am very used to having flowers for my house and for the yard!
I like herb bouquets and plenty of lavender and roses. As it is I have a few. The daylilies were up in April and most of them were so badly nipped they will not bloom until next year. At least they did not die.
When I fix a herb tea from the garden I too am refreshed.
So glad you joined in on this conversation.
Sherry

Q said...

Dear Ziggywigs,
What a great idea!
I will go visit a garden I just love..it is a Botanical Gardens about 40 minutes from my house. I will do this on Saturday. I will take my camera and do some butterfly photos and I bet I will feel very inspired. I can talk with the gardeners there. I bet they too were upset over the April freeze.
Thank you.
I am looking forward to this outing.
Sherry

Deb said...

Hello Q
We always have snapdragons planted in our garden. They are one of Kate's favourites because when she was little (and even now :-} )I made them 'talk' to her.
I hope your snapdragons talk to you too :-}

Q said...

Dear Deb,
Oh yes!!
Snaps do talk! I love that about them.
I have not heard them yet this year but I think I am once again open to their voices.
Thank you for reminding me.
I will be listening.
Kate is a lucky young woman to have you as her Mum.
Hugs,
Sherry

Sprite said...

*****

Dear Sherry,

I support you, fully.

Love,

*sprite

Q said...

Dear Sprite,
Thank you friend of mine!
I was grieving...
I feel much better now that I have honored the plants.
I really wanted to work in the gardens but I just could not get excited. Now it is hot and humid!
I guess I will work in the wee hours and take photos after the sun is high.
What a crazy spring we had!
Thank you for listening and supporting me.
Sherry